gratitude and grocery shopping

I went grocery shopping yesterday. Boy, did I go grocery shopping. Costco was my first stop where I stocked up on meats, paper products, veggies, etc., and then I drove a few miles to our local Publix where I finished up buying all the things Costco didn't have or had too large packages of the things on my list.

Our little family of 3 doesn't need 5 lbs of dried pasta or a 4 lb box of Cheerios or a gallon of Mazola corn oil. It's just not necessary for our household. Then, just when I thought I was done, I remembered a specific ingredient or two I'd forgotten and made a quick stop back at Publix after Kayla's physical therapy yesterday afternoon. Believe it or not, Kayla told me this morning I'd forgotten two other items that I'll just have to pick up someday, but I assure you it won't be today.

I shopped all day. OK, that's just how long it took me. I'm not a speedy shopper. I have to look a little, don't you know. When I finally drove into my garage with my treasure trove of purchases, I was very tired, and yet the fun had yet to begin. Now I had to put all these items away. Some of them would be tricky because I don't have a lot of grocery storage space and I'd have to make room for the 6 cans of diced tomatoes and the 16 cans of tuna (some things we do really use a lot of). Besides those items, I bought specific food for Holly and Sid's birthday dinner tonight which added more stuff to put away. Let's just say, it was going to take a while.

Byron met me at the garage.

"I just want to warn you. I bought everything."

I opened the trunk.

"I see that."

That was the extent of our exchange about my purchases. Then we both began carrying bags and boxes into the house. We have a second refrigerator in our garage for sodas and waters and the overflow of food from our kitchen fridge and my dear husband had cleaned it beautifully before I got home. Just out of the clear blue. I didn't ask him. He just did it. He knew I'd need it and he fixed it up for me. What a sweetheart!

I got busy maneuvering my groceries, stocking the cabinets and rearranging my freezers and it wasn't too long before I had everything put away and I breathed a sigh of satisfaction. It feels good to have a full pantry. By this time, I was very grateful and glad this task had been completed.

Now let me tell you the rest of the story. When I woke up yesterday morning I dreaded my shopping marathon. I knew it would be a long, tiring day, both physically and mentally. As a perfectionist, I try to cut out as many unnecessary steps as possible. This constant calculating of steps and routes will wear a body and mind down. I had a little list. By no means was it a complete list so I was also constantly trying to remember exactly what I needed, so one way or another, I knew this day was going to be real work.

As I first walked around Costco, I had a slight feeling of discontent, of dread. Even as I shopped I grumbled a little. Immediately, the Holy Spirit checked me. I knew what I was doing was wrong. In the midst of my abundance I was ungrateful to the Lord for his immense blessings. At this time when many, many people are losing their jobs and trying to make ends meet, trying to take care of their families, trying to put a meal on the table, here I was discontent because I was stocking my pantry without worry of whether or not I could pay for my purchases. At that moment, I was completely ashamed of myself.

I quickly asked the Lord to forgive my ungrateful heart. I was so sorry I had grumbled. I thought about how the children of Israel murmured and complained about the manna the Lord generously supplied for them as they wandered in the desert, and I saw myself doing the same thing at Costco in Forest City, Florida, in February 2009. There was no difference.

The Lord forgave me. He said if we ask, He will do it. My heart was lightened and I started enjoying my day. I still didn't shop quickly, but I did shop contently. I felt patient and happy as I pushed my heavy cart around the warehouse and then later on as I wielded my basket around the aisles of Publix, twice in one afternoon. I never again want to be as selfish, as ungrateful, as complaining as I was yesterday. The Lord is too, too good to me.

Father, thank you for the conviction of your Holy Spirit on my heart yesterday. Help me to always have a grateful heart for you and your gifts. You give us our daily bread. In your wisdom, you fix our plates, and you put on them what we need, when we need it. I always want to honor you with my attitude. I love you so very much.

Suz

laying down hearts with burdens

I've felt agitated since we've been home. Not exactly peace-less. More like antsy. Bothered. Worried? I'm not sure. But it isn't very comfortable. It's like I need to concentrate. To formulate. Contemplate. I'm frowning a lot. I have a lot of things on my mind. Broken hearted little girls. Sick and lonely children in faraway places. Financial woes of friends. Waning lives of elderly friends and family members. Aches and pains of those I love. Poor decisions by young people I care about.

A body could become weighed down with all this on her mind. This one has. I have a distant friend who says she's heavy hearted. So, all her friends and family are encouraging her in the Lord for guidance, rest, peace and strength. I encouraged her in the rest of the Lord.

Matt 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30.For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

It's true. Resting in the Lord when life is smooth is a breeze. We lay our hearts down at his feet and gaze lazily at the blue skies and rainbows knowing He is taking perfect care of us. And so we rest.

It can seem like a whole 'nother thing when our minds rush from one hurt to another and our hearts are pitched back and forth worrying and fretting about how a heartrending situation is going to play out in the end. Will it go this way? Or, that way? Many times we just don't know. Sometimes it's good. Sometimes, not so much.

How do we find heart rest when turmoil is all around us? We find it the same way we do when life is smooth. We lay our hearts down, with all its woes and cares and heartaches, at his feet and know that He is taking perfect care of us. There is no difference in how the Lord cares for us in smooth times or rough times. It's all the same to Him. It is we who must lay our cares before Him. He does all things well, all the time.

Isaiah 26:3 You, Lord, give true peace to those who depend on you, because they trust you.

In the sunshiney, blue-skyed days and in the heavy, dark days, we must keep our hearts and minds stayed upon Him, because it is in Him, we find true peace.

Lord Jesus, I need your peace tonight. My heart hurts for many friends and much family. I can't solve their problems, heal their wounds, or fix them in any way--but you can--so I lay each one of my worries at your feet. I give them to you, Lord. I want rest. Your rest. I love you so much. Thank you for relieving my mind and my heart of their burdens. They are yours now. I trust you, Lord. I trust you.

Suz